What’s wrong with the MTA, should drivers be allowed to park for free on city streets, and in what line of work can our hosts and guests make a living?
Columnist Lenore Skenazy joined Vince and Gersh to figure it all out on another scintillating edition of Brooklyn Paper Radio when the author of “Has the World Gone Skenazy? Thoughts on Pop Culture, Pet Peeves, and Sporks” first claimed that the problems with the subway are not in our heads.
“It reminds me of the 1980s when you always had to add an extra half hour to your commute to make sure you got to work on time,” Skenazy said. “God forbid the train just might stop, and about half the time, it does.”
Of course, none of this matters to DiMiceli, the well-paid editor of a major metropolitan newspaper chain who eschews the subway for a brand-new Subaru Outback with heated — and cooled — leather seats, and sees the problems with the trains as just another excuse used by his terminally late employees.
“Frankly, I’m tired of it,” he said from his soapbox. “I always account for traffic when I have my driver takes me to work, and it is high time my team of reporters and editors start waking up earlier to make sure they get to work on time.”
Skenazy then claimed that cars, and not just malfunctioning undergrounds, were a big part of the problem with city living, pointing out that drivers are allowed to park them for free in public places for extended periods of time, and that space could be used for other, more useful, purposes.
“Maybe that space could be used for faster buses or wider bike lanes,” she said. “Or both.”
All that went down after co-host Kuntzman lambasted DiMiceli for letting a typo slip through in a headline and allowing a reporter to kick off a story with the weather.
“Look, it is a well-known secret that I lobbied to get my old job back at the The Brooklyn Paper, and its mistakes like this that prove I should have gotten it.” Kuntzman said.
Of course, the pampered DiMiceli would have none of it, pointing out that it is hard for him to edit stories when he’s on another one of his long weekend getaways.
“The weather in Philadelphia was just wonderful this weekend, Gersh, and on Monday,” he said. “Have you been to the Franklin Institute? Fabulous.”
Finally, the three journalists contemplated an imaginary world where they can go to work everyday, write whatever they want, and still get paid — something that clearly will never happen thanks to a similar writing style that is shunned by the media elite and the literati.
“You are an enemy of earnestness, just as I am,” Kuntzman said to Skenazy. “We need to banish earnestness from American letters.”
Sadly, the three — or at least two of the three — agreed that would never happen.
“Columnist don’t get paid enough to pay for the phone calls they need to make to get the job done,” Skenazy said.
At which point DiMiceli thank his co-host and guest, ended the show, had a shot of whiskey from his in-office bar, called his driver and was taken home.
Brooklyn Paper radio is recorded and podcast live every Tuesday at 4:30 pm — for your convenience — from our studio in America’s Downtown and can be found, as always, right here on on iTunes, and of course, on Stitcher. You can hear the latest show constantly streaming at brook
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